When my husband and I started dating…
I assumed his video game tournaments, card games, role-playing game nights, and overall emotional investment in characters that did not exist would fade away as he “matured.” I was WRONG (about the fading and the maturing…).
I love my husband dearly, and he has many incredible qualities as a husband and father but he is 100% Nerd.
We often joke that had we met in high school, we would never have started dating. I played three sports, had a 4.0, and spoke 4 languages. He was in drama, made fart jokes, and spent more time with Princess Zelda then I think he did with any REAL girls.
I guess I should’ve known that I was in trouble when, for our first date, he took me to see Alien vs. Predator. But after a year of dating I realized the cold hard fact:
I was in love with a NERD.
You have to know the basics of the nerd world in order to have any success in a relationship with a nerd so here is my crash course for what I’ve learned:
- Star Wars and Star Trek are VERY different things. They get angry when you mix these two things up (and when you mention Jar Jar Binks).
- When anyone asks “What’s the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?” The correct response is “African or European?”
- When someone asks what the meaning of life is, your response should be “42.”
- You are either team Luigi or team Mario. There is no both.
- Zelda is NOT the guy dressed in green running around chasing chickens. His name is Link. Zelda is the Princess he wastes time rescuing only to be friend-zoned repeatedly. #notworthit
- “Tapping” means turning a card sideways in the card game, Magic.
- Dungeons and Dragons is a game where grown adults gather around and spend hours designing make-believe characters and then spend more hours pretending to be in a make-believe world as their make-believe characters in make-believe situations dictated by the chief make-believer (the “dungeon master”). P.S. I don’t care if you’re a master in some make-believe world. When your 11-month-old has a dirty diaper, your Warduke butt better get up and change her.
- Your nerd might ask you to spend $2,000 on a computer because it doesn’t have a quad processor which makes their role-playing game slightly slower and the graphics less quality. This is important life-changing stuff for a nerd.
- Acronyms and Slang you should be aware of:
- RPG: Role-Playing Game
- AFK: Away from the Keyboard
- MMO: Massive Multiplayer Online
- MMORPG: Yep you guessed it Massive Multiplayer Online Role-Playing Game
- IRL: In Real Life (they need to be reminded)
- FTW: For the Win
- Noob: a newbie or rookie to the game
- XP: Experience points
- Lag: the game running slower than normal (hence why we need the $2,000 computer)
- FPS: First-person shooter
IMHO, being married to a nerd is sometimes exhausting and frustrating, but he is also my world and I would not change him one bit (okay that might be a slight lie).
I hope that this helps you communicate better with the nerd in your life. And if all else fails, throw on your headset, grab a joystick, and join the game! Player 2 joining party…