I’m never one to turn down an opportunity to celebrate. From birthdays to Flag Day to National Margarita Day, I love to party. I’d like to say that was my favorite part of college, too, but there’s a good chance my mom is reading this; so, learning. Learning was my favorite part of college.
Due to my love of celebration, I’m quite fond of the National Fill-in-the-Blank Days I see all over social media every single day. National Left Handers Day? I’ll drink to that. National Taco Day? Bring me a side of queso, and we’ve got ourselves a party. National Colleen Day? …What, is that not a thing yet?
But today is a little different, folks. Today, I don’t feel like celebrating, even though God knows I have more instances to commemorate than I’d like to admit.
Yesterday was National Awkward Moments Day.
I survived middle school as a chubby girl who wore braces and glasses at the same time, so I can guarantee you my awkward cup runneth over.
There was that one time I told my first-grade class I was African American. When I got home, I cried and told my mom the whole story. I described how several boys told me there was no way my dad could be African American. Her response? “Did you mean Native American?”
Or that other time in sixth grade when I was beginning my extensive orthodontic journey and had just gotten a palate expander cemented to the roof of my mouth. It was pizza day, and I enjoyed two slices of my favorite: sausage. At recess that day, I found myself chatting with The Cutest Boy of All Time. When he told a joke, I laughed so hard a rogue piece of sausage that had been lodged in my brand new palate expander flew out of my mouth and into the face of The Cutest Boy of All Time.
Oh gosh, maybe we could celebrate that one time in high school when I rode the metro to a Nationals baseball game. My mom and I very nearly missed our train, but she gracefully slipped through the doors just in time. I, on the other hand, got stuck in the doors. Like, all the way stuck. I remember a huge male passenger tugging on my right arm and then both of us falling to the floor.
Let’s pull out the party hats in celebration of that time last week when I ended a business call with, “I love you.” Or how about the fact that, without fail, I always respond “you too” when the employee at the movie theater tells me to enjoy the show.
You know what? On second thought, I think today is National Colleen Day.