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How to Potty Train in 30 Days (or more)

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in motherhood, it’s that what works well for others will probably not work for you. I’ve heard wonderful stories of diaper-to-undies in one weekend. But why potty train in three days when you can make it a month-long potty party?! Here’s how:

30 Day Potty Training Plan

  • Day 1: Buy a toddler potty seat, three packs of underwear, a bag of M&Ms, mini marshmallows, and stickers.  
  • Day 2: Show your toddler the new potty seat, hype up the excitement of how “big kids” use the potty, and…bribe them with the treats.
  • Day 3: Treats won’t be enough, so buy themed books about potty training, too. And if you’re up for it, show your kid how you use the potty.
  • Day 4: Ask your kid if they want to use the potty. They might say yes, but immediately scream “NOOOOOO!!!” as soon as you enter the bathroom.
  • Day 5: Attempt to do a potty-training weekend (because this works for other kids). Run into your child’s room very excitedly and proclaim that it’s time to start using the potty! Remind them of the M&Ms, mini marshmallows, stickers, ponies, and treasures they’ll get when they use the potty. They won’t care.
  • Day 6: Give up and use the pull-ups like the diapers they really are. 
  • Day 7: They finally pee in the potty! But your excitement scares them, and they won’t go near it again.
  • Day 8: Take some deep breaths and reassure yourself that one day, they will use the potty. After all, they stop making these pull-ups after a certain weight limit.
  • Day 9: Eat the M&Ms yourself.
  • Day 10: Your toddler asks to use the potty!!!!!! PRAISE THE LORD!!!! And get the mini marshmallows ready (because you haven’t eaten those, yet).
  • Day 11: It was a novelty. They just wanted to get toilet paper and flush. 
  • Day 12: Invite your friends’ kids to come over and play because they use the potty and you hope their habits will rub off.
  • Day 13: Every time you change their diaper ask, “Would you like to go potty or have a diaper?”
  • Day 14: For once, they choose to go potty on their own…then ask for a diaper after. 
  • Day 15: You get wise and buy 300 pairs of toddler undies because the ones you bought 15 days ago have somehow vanished into thin air.
  • Day 16: This is the magical morning your child wakes up and decides, “I have to go potty!” 
  • Day 17: The kid has eaten so many M&Ms and mini marshmallows, you decide to schedule a dentist appointment…just in case.  
  • Day 18: You haven’t left the house in three to four days in fear of an accident, but it doesn’t matter because POTTY!!!!
  • Day 19: Do a Target run as fast as you can with your toddler sporting underwear (and with at least two backup pairs + pants in your purse).
  • Day 20: Regression day. Your kid pees at least four times on the floor of your home and doesn’t even say, “Oops!” 
  • Day 21: Buy more M&Ms.
  • Day 22: First time using the potty in a public place!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • Day 23: You forget what diaper-life was even like…
  • Day 24: …just in time to let a family member watch your child for a few hours (in your own home). Your kid poops in their underwear and smears it all over their clothes. 
  • Day 25: You thought poopy diapers were nauseating until you continue to find poop smears in your home.
  • Day 26: A perfect day: never prompted to use the potty, and they go on their own!
  • Day 27: Buy 128 more pairs of undies because WHERE DID THEY ALL GO?!
  • Day 28: It’s the weekend, so go on some outings! 
  • Day 29: When they ask for M&Ms after going potty, say, “We don’t do that anymore. BUT if you clean up your room….then you can have some!!”
  • Day 30: Toilet clogs with toilet paper. But at least you don’t have diapers anymore. 

Potty training

Also note to stock up on toilet paper…forever.

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